I realize that this is a little off the beaten track, but after reading Melissa Leong’s article, You’re Doing It Wrong, in the April 18 edition of the National Post, I thought it might be fun to change it up a little and offer some commentary on its engaging content.
It seems that with life and technology moving these days at the speed of light, there really isn’t much time for the consideration of decorum. But, manners and proper etiquette are things that help move us along in our daily lives as well, and should never be taken for granted or lost in the shuffle. Even the little things like please’s and thank-you’s can make a difference. Ms. Leong’s article goes further and cites a list of suggestions that we should all stop doing and start doing, as put forth by author & humorist, Henry Alford.
Among the “Stop Doing This” list, Mr. Alford proposes that we think twice before using the expression, “No problem.” He contends that it has become a phrase that is not only overused, but grossly inappropriate. Unless an actual problem is implied or impending, responding with “No problem” to the average statement really is not the way to go. True, but in my humble opinion, not the biggest deal in the world.
It gets better, though! Another of his examples of things we should all stop doing is taking cell phone calls at inopportune moments, unless the sky is falling. This one, I wholeheartedly agree with! It never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be when it comes to their cell phones. As Mr. Alford points out – if you answer your cell while we’re in the middle of a conversation (unless it’s an emergency), you’re essentially letting me know that I and what I have to say really don’t matter at all. And, don’t even get me started on texting – especially when walking – or even worse, driving. A woman actually plowed right into me the other day at a mall, so engrossed was she in the earth-shattering text conversation that was taking place. To add insult to injury, she did not even offer an apology. She in fact barely even glanced up. And, don’t you just love the guy that answers his phone in a crowded public space and proceeds to talk at the top of his lungs because his conversation is just so important that we all have to be privy to it?? Ever wonder what we did before the advent of the cell phone?
Mr. Alford also cites a less talked about pet peeve, but one that does resonate. You know when your best friend is complaining to you about her husband and his lack of respect or consideration for her? Well, hard as it might be, try to refrain from trashing the guy along with her. Why? Because right now, she’s pissed at him and her anger is talking. In a day or two, she’ll be in love again, but if you’ve verbally annihilated him in your last conversation with her, things could get dicey! So, the point is: Try to refrain from making nasty comments about others, especially in a situation like that!
And, now for the “Start Doing This” stuff. The first example of this that Mr. Alford cites is the pre-emptive strike. His point here is that “…sometimes bad manners beget good manners.” For example, Mr. Alford writes that his mother, who is hard of hearing, will, at a dinner, share this fact with the people on either side of her so that she doesn’t appear rude if should she not catch everything being said. Good idea. I do something similar at home with my family. If I’m in a particularly down or bad mood, I’ll let them know, so that if I happen to be a little bit short or impatient, they’ll understand why, rather than just think that I’m being ill-mannered.
Then, there’s the obvious stuff. It’s only proper to stand to the right of an escalator if you’re going to stand still. Or, if you’re driving slowly in the fast lane and someone comes up behind you, for goodness sake – move over into the slower moving lane so they can get by you!!! It only stands to reason, right? But, how many people don’t do things like this? And, how frustrating is it for everyone else?
The real point is, we all have to co-exist. Doesn’t it make your day when people are kind to you and considerate? If we all treated each other with respect and a sense of decorum, what a wonderful world this would be!
